| Nancy Twigg is a speaker and author who loves inspiring others to live more
simply. Adapted from Nancy’s newly revised book, Celebrate Simply: Your
Guide to Simpler, More Meaningful Holidays and Special Occasions (www.celebratesimply.com).
Visit Nancy online at www.countingthecost.com
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Imagine the scene: One Sunday morning
at church, you are approached by the child of a friend in your Bible
class. His school is selling "Pizza Heaven" coupon books
to raise money for the band. You don’t frequent that restaurant,
but the money seems to be going to a good cause. After all, he is
your friend’s son. What do you do?
If that scenario isn’t familiar to
you, how about this one: A friend from work sells kitchen gadgets
and accessories on the side. Because she’s a single mom, you know
she needs the extra money. Yet, you feel the items are overpriced.
She’s invited you to several of her home demonstration parties and
you feel that you really should attend at least one. What do you do?
One last scenario: Your company’s
secretary is retiring after 20 years of service. You’re told that
the organizers of her retirement party would like to get a $15
donation from each employee in order to buy her an expensive
going-away gift. You have enjoyed working with Mrs. Jones, but $15
is a little more than you can spend this week. What do you do?
All three of the scenarios just
described are examples of spending pressure. Anytime you feel some
sort of obligation to spend money you’d rather not, you are a
victim of this form of peer pressure. Your reasons for not wanting
to spend or donate may vary. Maybe you recently had a major expense
that took a large bite out of your bank account. Maybe your family
is saving for a future purchase or maybe you just don’t want or
need the item being sold. Whatever your reasons, situations such as
these can be stressful. If you say "no", you feel guilty
for not “being a team player” or supporting a good cause. If you
do give in to the pressure, you know you’ll probably regret it
later.
A few years ago, when I began to
realize how much damage spending under pressure could do to our
family budget, I formulated my own set of guidelines to help me make
good decisions in these situations. By rationally considering
whether each solicitation passes my “spending test,” I am able
to say "no" politely but confidently, rather than feeling
like the bad guy for refusing. Here are the questions I ask myself
when I am approached:
1. Do we have the money to spare? If
the answer to this question is "no", I need not go on to
the other questions. This is where the importance of a budget comes
in. One look at our budget sheet tells me exactly whether we can
spare the money or not.
2. Is this an item I really need or
can use? If I already have more kitchen gadgets than I have room
for, how can I justify buying another one? An item that is not
needed is rarely a wise use of my money. Better instead to make a
cash donation if I really want to support the organization.
3. Is the item reasonably priced?
Unfortunately, with many fundraiser items, the answer to this
question is usually "no". I try to be just a
value-conscious in supporting worthy causes as I am in other areas
of spending. An overpriced item is still overpriced, no matter what
cause the money is supporting.
4. Is this spending consistent with
my values? If the item being sold is not something I personally
value, why would I want to spend money that could instead be used
for something I do value, such as saving up so we can pay cash for
our next vehicle?
Using these guidelines helps to
relieve the stress associated with spending pressure. Rather than an
emotional decision that leaves you feeling guilty, your response is
based on a logical decision of how to best use your money.
There is one last issue, however,
that I should mention. What if a particular request does not pass
your spending test but you still feel compelled to help out? In that
case, look for ways you can give your support without violating your
principles. Make a small donation directly to the organization
rather than buying that item you don’t need. Donate your time or
talent to perform a task that is needed. In the case of the friend
selling products you do not wish to buy, offer to help out in
another way such as babysitting or making refreshments for her next
party. Remember that there are many ways to support a person or
organization without giving in to spending pressure.
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