Debt is Deadly (My debt is the end of my days)
thought deeply about whether I should share this email, and my
response, even though Nancy did give me permission to do so. In the
end, I felt it important for all of us to see how people feel beyond
the numbers, the money, and strategy of handling debt. How it
affects one's psyche. How it affects one's emotions. And why we all
need to learn from this.
This is the first time I've ever
received an email like this. This email changed the way I think
about everything. My hope is that by sharing her story, it will
change how we all think about what we DO have and what's REALLY important in
Thankfully, I have been corresponding
with Nancy and she's still with us. I will be following up with Nancy
and keep you posted with her story.
My debt is the end of my days. I am 45 and had thought that by this
time I would have my own home and a nice little mortgage. But life
had other ideas. I'm married with two beautiful children. I had also
planned on a college fund by now.
However, I now know all of the
following to be fact.
will never own a car that has not belonged to someone else
will never know the thrill of closing on any type of place
that my children will be able to call home forever.
will never be a college fund no matter how hard I try.
has come a time that I never dreamed of: my children tell me
they hate being poor and they are right. While we are not
destitute we will never be far from the edge.
will never be a day that I can tell my children that they have
as much or more than I had as a child, and finally...
will probably very soon come a night when I cannot handle the
pressure of creditors, the embarrassment of my children when
they see what their friends lives are like, the pain in their
eyes as they realize that things will never be different much
less better, the personal stigma attached to the knowledge
that in order to get money from me my creditors must go to
court and my reality... that there is only one way to lessen
the burden of being one of the have-nots and not one of the
haves. Due to a disability I am required to take many
different medications. When the night comes no one would know
that the amount or the mixture would be fatal. Only I would
know. On this night I will go to sleep, my mind will go blank,
my breath will cease to move within my chest and the constant
pain in my heart will, at last, be gone.
will be a cause of death as accidental overdose.
will be a life insurance policy with my children named as
You have made a grave error in
saying that debt is overwhelming.
In this American society ...debt
PLEASE DON'T DO IT!! Your children
need you more than money! They don't care about stuff. They love
you! They're two beautiful children that need their mother and
father. They'll be able to get through anything as long as you're
You're strong to be able to tell me
how you feel. I wouldn't have the courage that you did to send that
email. You're family is lucky to have you...PLEASE know that you
have only ONE major responsibility in life. And that is to be alive
and as healthy as possible for your children. To be their parent
when they're adults--when they have families.
You would destroy the family if you
leave and who knows if the insurance would pay. I have insurance and
I'm not confident that, in the end, they would pay! I won't be here
to fight for the money. Insurance companies make money when you pay
them, not when they pay beneficiaries. Insurance companies will look
for every loophole imaginable to get out of paying.
There are many financial options
available to you. Bankruptcy, settling debts, gee...worst case is
just don't pay! Don't let the creditors take the life of your children's
Here's my personal list (and it may
never own a car that has not belonged to someone else first.
And shit, I wouldn't want a new car anyway! They're a rip-off!
A total waste of money!
never know the thrill of closing on any type of place that my
children will be able to call home forever. That's because I
don't plan to be anywhere forever, but I do plan to be with
them no matter where we are. Nothing is forever. Everything is
borrowed. Every atom in your body is borrowed and will be
returned to the universe some day--long into the future!
will never be a college fund no matter how hard I try because
I'm not going to make one. I'll do my best now and learn about
opportunities for funding college as they get closer to that
age. They may get scholarships, and if not, I'll make it work!
Nancy, what does you husband do? Is
he a good man? He must love you dearly. Does he know how you feel?
Please Nancy, write back to me soon,
let me know you're still here.
I have shed some tears for you on
this morning and I know that your children's tears would be
never-ending if they were to lose you. I don't want to lose you.